Ama La Vida

As confident as I some times seem. I have very low self-esteem issues. I know where it’s coming from. Maybe in time I will seek treatment. At times I do not want to eat I’m terrified of gaining weight.

I’m feeling very low right now and I do not like it whatsoever I need to go workout hardcore

I love Europe fashion much more original and unquie than back in the states

I’d rather live for the present moment and think about the future later. You never know when it will be the end

Just going to rattle off my current anxiety in life and hopes it takes of the pain im feeling in my heart.

So its been awhile not that anyone is reading this. I’ve lost 30 pounds couldnt be happier I feel better I feel healthy about it. Although now my demons are returning and I can’t shake  them off this time. Its not drugs its not booze its being able to handle wanting to eat again or a lot. Its been awhile since I’ve had the feeling of being terrified of my body and  gaining weight. Im doing everything right. Its just the dark parts seeping into my mind and stuck in negativity.

2nd issue now is wanting to be in a relationship but im just so scared of being vulnerable and just shitting hitting the fan if it doesn’t workout.  Im also so used to being able be by myself  being independent. Its just wait and see I guess